Takeaway: For many people, therapy can be intimidating-after all, it’s hard to talk about traumatic experiences and challenging emotions. While those feelings are valid, addressing trauma in therapy is essential for your recovery. In this article, I offer my top tips for how to talk about trauma in therapy, plus give you suggestions for what to avoid.
Therapy is often a vulnerable, challenging (though ultimately rewarding) experience. This can be especially true for people who have experienced trauma. Feeling triggered can make it difficult to talk about your experiences and emotions, even though you know it’s essential for your healing.
There is no formula for approaching trauma therapy, and no magic solution to make you feel more comfortable opening up-that would be nice, right? However, there are steps you can take to feel more empowered in speaking your truth. There are also precautions to consider in order to make your experience go as smoothly as possible.
Armed with these tips, along with more knowledge about trauma therapy and trauma in general, my hope is that you will feel ready to start your recovery journey. Let’s dive in.
What is trauma?
Trauma is a term used to describe a reaction to a distressing event that felt too much, too soon, or too fast. When experiencing a traumatic event, we often feel like our safety or wellbeing is at risk. We might experience shock during or after the event and only realize how much we were affected days, weeks, or even years later.
Trauma is different for everyone, and what constitutes a traumatic event for one person may not necessarily be a traumatic event for another. With that being said, some common potentially traumatizing events include abuse, combat, natural disasters, car accidents, the death of a loved one, and discrimination.
Post traumatic stress symptoms to watch out for
Some people develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after they have experienced trauma. PTSD can present differently from person to person as well, though there are many common symptoms, including:
- Flashbacks
- Nightmares
- Avoiding people or situations that remind you of the traumatic event
- Feeling on edge
- Difficulty concentrating
- Sleep problems
- Negative view of yourself or the world in general
- Feeling disconnected from yourself and others
Not all trauma survivors will develop PTSD, but know that your feelings and experience are valid no matter what. You don’t have to be diagnosed with PTSD in order to engage in trauma focused therapy-you deserve support no matter what.
Everything you need to know about trauma focused therapy
Trauma therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all. There are many different types of trauma focused therapy, as well as types of trauma therapists. It may take time to figure out which treatment approaches or providers are right for you. These lists can help you get started.
Types of trauma treatment
Trauma focused therapy comes in all different shapes and sizes. Some therapists use a combination of treatment methods, while others mainly stick to one approach. Here is a broad overview of a few types of therapy that might be helpful for you.
Cognitive processing therapy (CPT)
Cognitive processing therapy is an evidence based treatment that has been shown to help people with all different types of traumatic experiences, including childhood trauma (also known as developmental trauma) and natural disasters.
Therapists who use CPT will help you identify the unhelpful thoughts or beliefs that contribute to your suffering. From here, you will work together to create meaningful shifts and change your perspective to reduce self-blame, increase self compassion, and more.
Prolonged exposure therapy
In prolonged exposure therapy, your therapist will help you learn how to cope with being triggered. Many people who have experienced trauma avoid things that remind them of what they experienced, which can interfere with their day to day life.
In this form of treatment, therapists guide people through intentional exposures to their triggers. Though this can sound intimidating, the process is carried out with a great deal of care and intention. Your therapist will teach you the self regulation and coping skills you need to navigate it all.
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy (EMDR)
EMDR is different from most types of traditional talk therapy. In this form of treatment, your therapist will guide you through a process to help you change the way your brain and body reacts to traumatic memories.
Your therapist will use bilateral stimulation, which may involve repetitive eye movements, tapping, sounds, or vibrations as you call to mind memories of the traumatic events you have experienced. This process seems to reduce the emotional distress people experience when thinking about their trauma.
Types of trauma therapists
While there are several different kinds of therapy providers, all are required to meet certain requirements in order to earn and maintain their credentials. Make sure to verify your provider’s credentials when choosing a trauma therapist.
Licensed clinical social worker
A licensed clinical social worker has a master’s degree in the field of social work. They must also complete several hundreds of hours of supervised experience after graduating their degree program and pass an exam to earn their license.
Social workers typically take a “person in environment” approach, meaning they consider the social and environmental factors that impact a person, as well as familial and individual factors.
Licensed mental health counselor
A licensed mental health counselor also has a master’s degree, though their field of study is in counseling. Like social workers, these professionals must also have supervised experience and pass an exam.
Mental health counselors typically use different approaches, though the focus tends to be on an individual’s mental health.
Licensed creative arts therapist
Licensed creative arts therapists have training in both mental health and creative arts, such as music, drama, visual art, and dance. They must also complete supervised practice hours and pass a licensing exam.
Like mental health counselors, they incorporate different methods and approaches, though art therapy techniques are often a focal point, as the name of the profession suggests.
Licensed psychologist
Unlike the other types of therapists, a licensed psychologist has a doctoral degree in psychology. While each provider has their own approach, they tend to focus on individual mental health, similar to a licensed mental health counselor.
Tips for talking about trauma in therapy
No matter which treatment provider or form of therapy you choose, talking about your trauma history can feel completely overwhelming and uncomfortable. That is totally understandable. As a trauma therapist in NYC, here are my top tips to help you navigate addressing trauma in therapy.
How to address trauma in therapy
If you feel anxious at the idea of talking about trauma in therapy, you’re not alone. Many people feel this way when starting trauma work, or even if they’ve been in therapy before. Hopefully, these strategies will help you broach the topic.
Take the time you need to feel comfortable
You are under no obligation to tell your therapist about your trauma experience in a certain timeframe. It can feel unnatural to spill your guts about your traumatic experience with a total stranger-that’s completely valid. Taking some time to let the relationship between you and your therapist build might help you feel more comfortable.
Let your therapist know what you’re feeling
If you feel like you want to tell your therapist about your trauma experience but aren’t sure how, it might help to let them know what you’re feeling without getting into all of the details. If you communicate that you feel vulnerable or anxious at the idea of talking about your trauma, your therapist will be able to help you navigate those emotions.
Take notes about your traumatic experience
Many people have difficulty communicating when they feel triggered. Jotting down a few notes in between sessions can help you feel more focused when you go to express yourself in session. It doesn’t have to be anything too fancy or in-depth-even having a couple bullet points in the note app on your phone can do the trick.
Use grounding skills
Grounding techniques can help with self regulation if you feel triggered talking about your trauma. Breathing techniques and the 5-4-3-2-1 technique are both simple, effective options that can be used to help if you feel pulled into fight-or-flight. Be sure to ask your therapist for more coping skills, too.
What to avoid when talking about trauma in therapy
There is no wrong way to go about addressing trauma in therapy. However, certain approaches can make you feel more triggered or even retraumatize you. Keep these considerations in mind when deciding how to talk about trauma in therapy.
Don’t feel pressure to spill in your first therapy session
Many people feel like they are supposed to tell their therapist everything right away. However, trauma processing isn’t a race-you can go at the pace that feels comfortable for you. Your therapist shouldn’t pressure you into sharing sooner than you are ready to.
Don’t share more details than you want to
In that same vein, you don’t need to share more details about your trauma than you want to. In fact, some forms of trauma focused therapy, such as EMDR, don’t require you to verbalize details about your experience in order for you to engage in effective trauma processing.
Don’t gaslight yourself
Many people avoid talking about their trauma because (in part) of the guilt and shame that comes with it. You might feel that you shouldn’t be affected so deeply because other people have suffered worse. However, trauma is not a competition. You are allowed to be hurt, and your experience is valid.
Start the path toward recovery with a trauma therapist in NYC
Addressing trauma in therapy can feel scary and overwhelming. However, you don’t need to stay stuck in old patterns and thought processes that keep you from living the fulfilled, connected life you envision for yourself.
As a trauma therapist in NYC, I approach all my clients with compassion and care. By expressing empathy and showing curiosity, I hope to make it clear that I’m here to weather this storm alongside you-and help you find clearer skies ahead.
In our work together, I’ll follow your lead. Though I bring my experience and insights into our shared therapy space, you’re in total control of the process. We’ll collaborate to form a treatment plan that makes sense for you and what you need.
If you’re feeling brave and ready to dive in, I’m happy to hear from you. Schedule your free 20-minute consultation so I can answer your questions and we can chat more about whether we might be a good match for each other.
